Scar Tissue

A characteristic of Attention Deficit Disorder is the difficulty to start and finish tasks. For me, it takes a while to read a long book. To get through a thick work of literature may take me a month, even if it is an incredible book.

Thus was the situation of my journey through, "Scar Tissue," the autobiography of Anthony Kiedis.

A founding member, lead singer and primary lyricist for the highly successful band Red Hot Chili Peppers, Anthony Kiedis has lived a life that is every bit the most outrageous and dark ideas that any of us have of a wild rock star. Anthony's story is definitely drugs, sex and rock 'n' roll.

Being introduced to marijuana by his father, "Blackie," in Anthony's very early teen years, the rollercoaster began. A broken family, drugs, alcohol, shoplifting, girlfriends, california.

The book chronicles a very detailed history of the Red Hot Chili Peppers from inception up through their latest triumph, "By The Way." It also chronicles Anthony's rollercoaster life of addiction. Anthony is an addict. Heroin and crack became his drugs of choice, as this artist with all the money in the world would get healthy and clean just to fall straight into a pit that would find him in a seedy hollywood motel for days on end shooting speed, heroin, and smoking cocaine until he just couldn't do any more (or, had to go to work).

For a Chili Pepper's fan, "Scar Tissue," gives a detailed history of the beginnings of the band, all of the personnell changes, business dealings and touring horror stories. The coming and going, and coming back of John Frusciante is told in detail, as well as the short-lived but gleaming Dave Navarro stint in the band.

All of these guys are wonderfully human. And, all of them have their issues.

Anthony's story is riddled with death and absolute dyfunction. This is a spiritual book. Here is an excerpt:

"When I say spiritual, I'm not talking about chanting or reading Eastern Philosophy. I'm talking about setting up the chairs at a meeting, picking up another alcoholic and driving him across town to a meeting. That's a spiritual lifestyle, being willing to admit that you don't know everything and that you were wrong about some things. It's about making a list of all the people you've harmed, either emotionally or physically or financially, and going back and making amends. That's a spiritual lifestyle. It's not a fluffy ethereal concept.

My friend Bob Forrest is a spiritual person. He doesn't go to church and he doesn't talk about God and he doesn't go do charity events on weekends, but he'll sit and talk for hours to a guy in jail who cna't stop smoking crack. That's curing Bob of his spiritual malady, because he's willing to do something that's not really for him. It's for this other guy. He's not doing it with the expectation of getting anything out of it, but as a by-product, he is."
-From "Scar Tissue," Copyright 2004 Anthony Kiedis.

As the Chili Peppers ready for a new album this fall, "Scar Tissue," is an excellent set up to the new release.

Be forwarned, if you have a penchant for the attractiveness of any vice or addictive item, this may not be a good book to read, especially if you could jump off of that bridge at any moment.. Several times during my reading of this book I found myself rolling straight back into the pit of alcohol use that has danced with me for most of my adult life (sorry folks, I'm just willing to admit it; most people won't). Fortunately though, recovery exists, and there is a happy ending.

Is the Devil wearing a winter coat?

Bill Frist Breaks With Bush on Stem Cell Research

WASHINGTON - Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist endorsed government-funded research on human embryonic stem cells Friday, breaking with President Bush and the religious conservatives he's been courting for a 2008 presidential bid. He drew praise from former first lady Nancy Reagan.
"It isn't just a matter of faith, it's a matter of science," Frist, a heart-lung transplant surgeon, said in a Senate speech. "The president's policy should be modified."

Pretty much, ever since I pressed the button in 2000 for our current president and many of his republican associates, I have walked with a certain guilt and shame. As our political leaders began to wage a very immoral "moral" crusade, it has become increasingly evident that the republican party has little to do with justice, morality, christianity, God, or moving our country toward a safer future with our families.

One of those candidates is the current Senate majority leader, Dr. Bill Frist. In an amazing break from the republican guard, Dr. Frist openly went against the president and the conservative movement this week, taking a stand for the advancement of stem cell research. For this I applaud Dr. Frist.

I am not deeply intelligent about all of these issues. We live in a society where the media is nothing more than a bunch of people like you and I, who really don't have all the details, making judgements, conjecture and spouting rhetoric. I'm not attempting to do that. But what I do hope is that Dr. Frist's move is one that goes to slash the ridiculous idea that everything our president does is right.

Jesus is not a republican. And, just because Bush backs something doesn't mean it's right. Christianity and republicanism do not go hand in hand.

All politicians on both sides of the aisle have some corruption. Would I ever vote for Frist again? No. As a matter of fact, I cannot imagine a time that I would ever vote for a repulican in my life after the betrayal they have bestowed upon the moral side of our country, and the ravaging savagery they are wielding upon our children's future. Damn them all to a fiery hell.

In an earlier post, I wrote about our willingness to lease out our thinking to other people so that we don't have to think about those things (preachers/politicians).

Hopefully, small waves like the one Frist has made this weekend will slap people who do this in the face and at least make us think a bit about how ridiculous it is to equate a political party with morality.

No one in either party is necessarily right. But, they are human beings just like us. No one has a corner on morality.

Questions I get asked most in life

Being that a blog is an online diary, I want to write an entry that includes questions that I am asked most in life. And, answer them. These questions come from friends, perhaps family, co-workers, people I meet in society, anyone.

In another blog entry, I am going to write questions that I WISH people would ask. I believe that will be alot more interesting.

So here we go. If you ever meet me, you can bypass these questions because you already know the answer:

1) "How are you?" Or a more popular version, "How's it going?" or "What's Up?"
-asked in any setting, with any person, in any conversation. A very casual salutation or version of hello.
Answer: "Excellent," or "Everything". Also there is the "hipster" version: "Everything my man, everything!"

2) "How's your daughter?" -A precursor to other popular questions that are typically asked out of sincere motives by family and friends, but out of a well-intended, but prying for information soap opera mentality by most others.
Answer: "Great." after an awkward pause, I feel the need to fill air, and begin talking about specifics regarding her, thus opening the door to the prying, other questions.

3) "Why did you get divorced?" (note: If this question is asked by a fundamentalist Christian, it is a good bet that the question will be followed with, "Is there a chance you will get back together?")
Answer: For a relationship to work out, compatibility must be present. Did I know this at the time? No. It has taken years and years to suss this out, but the bottom line is, we probably never should have married in the first place. Like so many people throughout history, we really weren't acting with our heads. No one is at fault, no one did some "evil" and unbiblical thing that requires the elders to have a prayer circle. And, we are all in a better place today. Despite what people say about things being absolute, there are alot of areas that are gray. And, I have no doubt in my mind that God is o.k. with my marriage not working out (SCREW YOU DENNIS RAINEY, YOU BACKWARDS BIGOT). Who knows what would or wouldn't have happened? NO ONE. And that includes any pastor, marriage counselor, or the Bible (for those who act as if the Bible is actually a personality that thinks).

Also, sometimes I am asked about what I think of a particular relationship. Depending on the situation, I often tell people that it is better to end an incompatible relationship than to drudge on in life miserable. So many people say that "God hates divorce." "Divorce is wrong." "Buck up buddy, God says 'you're in for the longhaul'". Bullshit! I call Bullshit! Yes, God hates divorce. He hates it because one of the reasons for it is bad decisions that shouldn't have been made in the first place. It happens when people aren't living as attendees of their actual lives, but in some movie that is rolling in their heads. I am a classic example. Ego's are swinging like a pendulum, and we never really stop to realize that we are slicing our actual selves in two with every swoop. It's time to wake up. And, God (whether you believe in the God of the Bible, Buddah, or some other name for the supreme force we all have access to), wants us to wake up and be present.

Marriage IS sacred, and divorce should not be taken lightly. Too many people do take it lightly for the same reasons I outlined above; mainly they are living in an unreal world of delusion.

The goal here is to lessen suffering. How in God's name does one lessen suffering by staying in an unreasonable or incompatible relationship? How in God's name does one lessen suffering by jumping to relationship after relationship in a whirlwind of disorder and dysfunction?

4) "What do you do?", or "Where do you work?" -A common question usually to find out how much money a person makes.
Answer: I manage a sales team for Clear Channel Radio.

5) "Why don't you buy a house?" -Once again, another question usually to find out how much money a person makes.
Answer: It is not a high priority for me. Even if it was a priority, my definition of affordability makes a house these days unreasonable. I am not willing to take on the debt in our cultural climate. I don't want it. "But the market is good, you need to buy a house." Says who?

In a time when I am happier than I have ever been, I don't want the worry, problems and struggles associated with a huge mortgage. Personally, I don't have the money that I would consider reasonable to put down on a house. There are too many examples of people who have touched my life that took out $0, or very little down mortgages to get into a home. Their lifestyles are no better than mine, and their debt load is huge. I have seen people have to continue on in jobs/careers that don't make them happy because of their debts. I am by no means saying this is wrong, but with the dysfunctionality of finances that runs rampant through my family history, I am going to avoid any possible disaster that I can.

I have a home, my daughter is healthy, I love my friends, and I love my career. This is very peaceful and free for me.

6) Where do you go to Church?
answer: Brentwood Nazarene. I am not a member. I have dear friends that go there, and I do not go often. Over the past three years, church has taken a different role in my life than ever before.

7) "Are you dating anyone?" followed by "Why?" Typically this is asked by someone prying to either find out if I am gay, or if asked by a married person, to live vicariously through my circumstance.

Answer: No. I have lived a life and chosen a path that has put me circumstances where I am just not around that many opportunities to meet single women. I am paying in the present for not being present for the majority of the last two decades. Most of my friends who ask these questions don't know anyone that could be a prospective hook-up, and when they do it's usually just a compatibility disaster. I am in a very cloistered environment. To be honest, my experiences of meeting women at church has been horrible. I do not want to meet someone at church. Bars are useless. So, it comes straight out to being ready for opportunities as they arise, be able to recognize them, and have the balls to engage the situations as they come up.

Well, those are some of the top questions I get asked in life. Thus, another small look into my world.

Scott

La Sophia

The makings of a wonderful new Food Network cooking show: "La Sophia!"
The expert culinary wizard, Sophia, is adding many delicacies to her recipe book on a daily basis, including: Handmade from scratch pizzas, oven fried chicken, Sophia's special desert, and many more.

Blood on the plow!

It is no secret that live music has been a huge piece of the texture in my landscape. Ever since I was a little kid listening to the Ink Spots at Oakdale Park in Salina, Ks. I have been on a road where I gravitate to any live music possible along the way. But over those years, I have never had the fortune of seeing John Mellencamp until last night. A client of mine didn't need the tickets I offered her for the concert, so I took my daughter, Sophia, out to the amphitheatre to see the show.

John Fogerty and John Mellencamp. Honestly, I had no expectations, and left the show blown away. For nearly 3 hours these two rock n roll American icons played hit after hit after hit. John Mellencamp covered his entire catalog of hits with an amazing band and just a deep reminder of what an impact he has had over the past three decades of american music.

"Scarecrow" came out while I was in college, and marked his outspoken allegience with Willie Nelson to help the working people of America. In that case, it was the farmer. His earlier work soundtracked my jr. high and high school experiences. Even into my adult life, he is still cranking hits.

But above any of the music was the idea that I was able to share this time with my daughter and expose her to music and artists that were not in the mainstream right now, yet were truly enjoyable to seep in. To see my daughter warm up to John Fogerty's guitar playing and infectious songs, dancing and going "wow" throughout his set was just really cool. To see her sit down and soak in John's latest effort, "Deja Vu", which is a throwback to the old vietnam soundtracks of CCR, while images of vietnam era battle and peace rally footage ran was great.

Sophia is learning that all art is sacred, and that there is great room for variety in music. Hilary Duff may be her favorite (and, honestly, I like Hilary to), but it is nice to be able to let her soak in music of all kinds, to embrace tolerance & acceptance, and most of all to be able to enjoy something on her own and not because someone tells her that it's the "cool" thing to like.

There you go.

Sunday School

Heat. The blistering wellspring of heat has hit TN. With the heat comes a thousand memories locked within my head from instances throughout life which have been directly affected by the heat's presence. I thought about taking this weekend and enjoying some sun by the pool, but I am enjoying housekeeping and my new little surround sound tv system better (eventhough I can't figure out how to get the actual tv shows to come out through the system).

Every Sunday (actually, the thoughts begin much earlier in the week, if not holding some constant real estate in my mind) I consider going to church. All of my life Sunday morning has been reserved for going to Church. Why? There are a thousand reasons why people go to church, but this two-three hour trek each weekend at an ironically enough ungodly hour on the supposed "day of rest" usually is just something we have done all of our lives, and we are supposed to do it in order to commune and fellowship with a "body of believers." It has been said by countless church-going people that giving up a few hours a week to honor our lord who gives us everything is "our duty." To gather in worship of God and our savior, (the Lord Jesus Christ for most of us) is jet fuel for the upcoming week (how many times have you seen a church sign emblazoned with, "7 days without prayer makes one weak,").

Church is a place to worship, a place to learn, a place to lay the foundation of a family and train your children up in the lord. Church is a place to fellowship with your friends and be reminded of our fraility as humans and our need for help. Church is a DMZ, a no-war zone where we can remove ourselves from politics and ideaological separation of the classes (SCRATCH...........-This is where the needle on the record abrubtly stops).

I'm not going to ramble on about the problems with Church. It is an institution that has, and still does, work for millions. But for me, it just doesn't. And, it hasn't for a long, long time. I have struggled with the questions of this. I finally came to great peace when I realized that it's o.k. I can actually now go to church once in a while and enjoy it. Because I'm not going out of guilt or feeling I need help. But because I like the people. I like to see people who have names like John, Mark, Blake, Tanya, Patrick and Theresa. The human factor is huge, and being able to go to a church service with no guilt or expectations or pre-judgement about the music and message; it's all great.

Church in America is an institution that is not going to work for everyone. THAT'S O.K. And you know something: I'm not going to hell because of this. I'm not experiencing God's retribution, and my child stands no larger chance of turning out rotten than the typical pastor's kid does.

For one second does God think the best place for me is to use my rest time to get up and go to a building I never go at any other time of my life, dress in ways that make me uncomfortable, sing and listen to music that I never listen to anywhere else? Get up at the crack of dawn, worry about being late, argue with the family, argue with the kids, STRESS. Not want to see most of the people you see at church, AND, be expected to pay a cover charge that is basically 10% of your income? All for what? To hear some person, who is no different or no more knowledgeable than me or you talking about the same stuff we have heard all of our lives. Nothing's changed. There are no new revelations. It's popular today to bring up the definition of insanity but if the shoe fits........people who do the same thing over and over again and again, expecting different results are insane. And, do we honestly believe we are getting different things every week at church. If so, we are blinded, because it's the SAME stuff over and over.

The most recent one that hit me was the passionate parishioner (And yes he IS a great guy) who got up and talked about evangelism and witnessing. He spoke how many of the people sitting next to us in the pews might not be "saved." He spoke passionately about how we needed to be willing to ask the tough questions of our pew sitting neighbors. Well, I actually looked forward to being asked those tough questions in hope that some sort of deeper dialogue could happen. Not one person asked me JACK. Perhaps most people believe they know exactly where I stand and don't need to ask questions. Maybe they are afraid of what I might say. Who knows, but I found this interesting. Maybe they just don't know me and are HUMAN, just like me. Either way, I expected a different result from the SAME stuff. In this instance, I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS INSANE.

Church is safe, it doesn't change. We know what to expect. And it's easier to lease out that area of our life to the pastor, children's or youth program, prayer committee, church board, "Purpose Driven Life" class, or anything else THAN for us to expend the time to think about these things ourselves. After all, the kids got soccer, we're busy with work, dinner has to be made. Thank God Pastor Dan can cover that spiritual area of my life so I don't have to deal with it myself. We live in a microwaved prepackaged world of spirituality where "spritual growth" is something that is leased out. Let someone else study this stuff and we will just listen on two-hours on Sunday morning. "Well, I pray every day, I go to men's bible study....And, damn that Rick Warren has changed my life."

Come on. I've been to "good" churches. They exist. And, once again, there are people out there with plenty of reason to sign up for a membership at these types of country clubs. But, it's not for everyone. Quote any bible verse you want, but those things are gray areas. And, no, I'm not going to waste any more of my time looking for the "right" church. There are no "right" churches. We are all in the same boat.

The Church Christ spoke about is people. And people live every day in the real world; at work, play, sleep and decay. In all sorts of situations the people who make up the Church exist. I would rather wander through life experiencing this in reality, than trying to experience it in an insane vacuum every Sunday at 10:00.

Church to me is listening to Audioslave and applying what I hear to how I am living. It is looking out my window and seeing a small mountain covered in green trees while hearing the sounds of a dozen different birds echo through the land. Church to me is interacting with the people I work with on a daily basis. It is nursing myself through a bad hangover and wondering how I got there. And, from my viewpoint, the Church I live in every day is worth alot more than a mere 10% of my income.

Enjoy your day of rest.

Scott

I concede

Tonight I was reminded how cool and talented Ben Folds is. Ben Folds was the opening artist for Weezer. I saw him earlier in the 90's at 328 Performance Hall during his rise to alternative fame, and it was a treat to be reminded tonight of his stellar talent. While the populas was touting Dave Matthews wonderful performance from last night (and I am sure it was just that; wonderful), I couldn't help to feel that I was with a slightly cooler and "in the know" club of people who knew the lesser know Ben Folds.

And, therein lies the rub..............I actually thought tonight that I might be able to meet a girl at the Weezer show. Yeah, I mean, the band came out in the early 90's and there was sure to be alot of girls my age. Well, that just wasn't the case. Quickly I realized that I was probably in the oldest 1% of the audience, and there was not 1 girl I saw, except the women working the funnel cake booth, that were even remotely close to my age. This is where I concede. I realize that I am closer to chapperoning my daughter in a few years to rock concerts with her friends, than I am to actually "hooking up" with hot chicks at the show. Is this depressing? Hmmmm. Not really. Not when I think about the reality of things. Life is good. I am very happy to realize that I enjoy great art that is embraced by several generations. I just think it is an adjustment to realize that I am on the older side of the age curve. Here's what is weird though: Without feeling out of place or looking like a geek, I could actually wear a Guess watch, Munsingwear (Penguin) Shoes, Gap camoflauge cargo shorts and a Polo t-shirt and be one of the better dressed people there. I love life. Enjoy.

The People's Champ

It isn't often when the world brings us a bright light to illuminate the darkness. The youth of today have no guidance. But, I am proud to endorse one of those rare stars of hope who we can put our faith in. Someone who is a leader, a compassionate soul, and a beacon of hope for the youth of today. Paul Wall. Yes, he is "The People's Champ." He is the Ultimate King of the Parking Lot." Paul Wall is who we should support. Paste the following link into your browser and find the salvation so many of us are seeking:

http://liquidbuilder.atlanticrecords.com/paulwall_peopleschamp

We are in good hands...NOT!

Bush announces his Supreme Court nominee here in a bit. To avoid this depression, I am going to go to the mall and forget about it for awhile.

Someone please wake me up from this nightmare we are experiencing. Yes, I am speaking of our current presidential administration.

Thank You,

Scott

My Benevolent Demon

Here is a little ditty I wrote at a "real happy" time of life a couple of years ago. I was rolling into some good depression with the holidays rolling around. I couldn't deal any more, I loved my job but I hated myself. I love my family, but the thought of holidays kills me like the Black Plague. Life wasn't very good at all simply because I was living everywhere but the present. Alcohol was a seemingly good friend at this point in my life. Fortunately, I finally took a step to find some help. This was a place I began a journey that I began to actually realize that I could actually live being present with my life. I began to lighten up and realize that the ground isn't that solid at all.

I hope you enjoy this:

My Benevolent Demon
Scott Michael Winchell12/10/2003

My friend, My lover
My benevolent demon
How good to see you on this sultry, fiery night

I have waited so long
To see you once again
Hold me tight now
Drown the guilt from my sin

The river it flows through my soul
As I drink you to my health
The raging breeze puts my mind at ease
So I don’t have to deal with myself

Praise you for the good times
Damn you for the bad
Precious warm memories
Steal all the dreams I have

“Daddy”

Written on November 21, 2002 on the day I turned the radio off.


I am the vein of disappointment
Flowing through this interstate
Run so fast to never be there
Happy child with no guarantees

There is a world of desperate measure
Living close within my mind
All is right and scenery conquered
Leveled out by my belief

And can I ever be that person providing all that she deserves
Sinking deeper with the chasm
I sense the bulb is flickering

I am a dream

A memory

A thought quite pleasant as she hits the bed

I am a visitor

Long distance call

Mark the calendar quite frequent this fall

I can't sleep

Rarely, do I have trouble sleeping. Tonight is one of those periods of darkness. My thought is simple: If Hulk Hogan and Ozzy Osbourne can live the crevices of their lives out on television, why can't I have a forum on the internet to speak honestly about the comings and goings of my life. Thus, the blog. I have been experimenting with the blog for a little over a week now, and I really enjoy this.

It is now time to tell people that the blog is available, and to put it on out there. So, if you are reading this, here is basically what this house on the internet is:
* A vent for my thoughts (Political, personal, spiritual). It is not a judgement on society, or a blow to start a fight. It is simply a place where I can write what's on my mind.
* A home for my words. Hardly any one knows that I have spent most of my life writing. I would say out of the thousands of people I have met over the years, less than 10 know that I spend time writing prose, short essays, commentary and poetry. That is about to change. The number is going to grow to at least a dozen now! :) My works are dark, honest and sometimes very messy. They deal with the darkness of religion, my personal demons and struggles, and anything in between. Get used to it. When I go back into my past and read what I wrote during college, it is a whole different ball game from when I was freshly graduated and in the workforce for the first time. My writings are very different between the time I was not a parent, and after I became one. There are several other junctures that are reflected in these writings, and I celebrate the humanity of my existence.
* Music, sports and literary commentary. There is too much great art in the world that lies within these three areas to not take a space on the blog.

Enjoy this. Please post or e-mail me any comments, and never allow yourself to NOT share something that you would like. I do not take anything personal.

Thank You,

Scott
*

How funny is this. From halloween several years ago.  

A bit of the past lives today

I have often stated that many ingredients combine to make up the rancid stew of racism. Ignorance is the biggest one. The recipe of racism also includes sins of ommission, hate, greed, lust and just about anything else that can be rung up under the banner of humanity.

I will never go so far as to say that racism is the cause of Christian radio's slow embracing of the hip-hop culture. But I will loudly state that ignorance and sins of ommission are. People are going to program what they will, but the urban formats have long been ignored by the Christian music industrial complex because of it's predominate thrust toward protecting the formats which will pay the bills. AC, Inspo, CHR.......Eventhough there are many pioneers and great people within CCM, when it comes to taking a risk on something culturally relevant, that might be a different road than that of a current support base, CCM would rather follow than lead. And to be honest, I ask myself the question, "Why DOES hip-hop NEED CCM any way?" Urban music is already culturally connected to the gospel in a way that AC only wishes it was. It really doesn't matter what people think about 50 Cent or the judgement they put on DMX for including Christian oriented songs on their albums, because these people aren't caught up in a complex of irrational beliefs that segregate us. Urban and hip-hop music are huge. They aren't going away. I remember back in the early 90's when DC Talk was predominately a rap group, a record executive at their label seemed to think that rap could only last a few years. Hmmmm. For DC Talk, maybe, but the important thing to realize is that a whole other thing was going on a long time ago, and it has now replaced what rock n roll spawned in the 50's as the dominant cultural musical style for at least the next 3 decades to come.

Weekstart

Duran Duran: Blast! I had alot of fun. The only issue was my taking myself out of the game with alcohol. I really couldn't function socially very well, and once again, ended up acting less than stellar. There were women all over that concert. If I would have been even 1/2 way sober, I might have been able to hold a conversation that wasn't tainted by ridiculous unrealistic beliefs.

Race: The IRL race on Saturday was a blast as well. Sunday morning I couldn't find my wallet or my cell phone. Fortunately we found the wallet, and after a 8:00 a.m. drive back to the track, I found the cell phone exactly where it had been dropped: by the car where I took a leak the night before.

Sunday: Recovery

Winchell World

Winchell World

Power and Race

"Power arises out
of integrating the positive and negatives within us. From the tension that
exists between the two, we develop awareness and become more conscious and
compassionate." -I wish I had the name of the person who wrote
this.

One of the classic characteristics of ADD is the difficulty in starting tasks and projects. It takes me a bit to actually sit down and write down or share my thoughts, even if they are boiling on my brain and I would love to just scream them to the world. Therefore, it is pretty cool to actually see these words being written.

The quote above appeared in my e-mail box this morning. How true it is that everything has an opposite; for good there is evil, black/white, etc....... and the interesting thing is simply that nothing is concrete. There is a duality in everything, but finding stability in anything is honestly, a fruitless effort. It is when we develop a recognition of duality, for instance the ability to act positively also includes the ability to act negatively, when we do become a little more awake to the world and the door to healthy lifestyle components such as compassion can come into play. It is interesting that within the extremes of calm and storm, awareness and recognition that duality of circumstance somehow braces us, and all of a sudden we can just be. We can exist and thrive without fear, with compassion, without judgement and totally observant yet action oriented.

Most of my life I have been taught, and by choice embraced, the idea that holding to the "absolutes" will help build a foundation of stone and keep me on ground. Although I don't disavow the idea of absolutes, I see things as a little more open and less certain as this fundamental upbringing certainly supposed.

Where am I going with this? Who knows? For this is why I built my blog.

For the past couple of weeks I have lived in the place of experiencing a very depressing situation related to ignorance and racism. I will go into the gory details in another post, but simply put, we are all a mess. We are all in the same boat. Often times it is the most dull, unobvious ignorance that sparks extreme and difficult responses. Apathy and ignorance cultivate active response. For instance, Jesus going crazy in the temple. Do you really think in that story that those merchants put that much thought into what they were doing in desecrating the temple? It's not like those merchants sat up in their bed that morning and said, "I think I will go sell my wares in the temple, make a mockery of it and slap God in the face!" It doesn't work like that. They were omissive in their "sin." Ignorant.

Today, this is seen in people and businesses who make decisions based on ignorance and in spineless, 'let's not upset anyone' action. The result is that the people who this ignorance effects the most end up either going along, or risking being seen as "radical" and "hard to work with."

More later.

Quote of the week

"Government is the Entertainment Division of the military-industrial complex." Frank Zappa - (1940-1993)

During another numbing week where London is attacked right after the upswing of all the goodwill emanated from the Live 8 shows, and when it is still clear that there is no end in sight to the corruption in our government and the ridiculous holocoust of insanity in Iraq, this quote from one of the coolest freaks of the last generations speaks quite well.

My first thought was, "How right this is!" and I proceeded to think that if this is truly the case, then Carl Rove is definitely the Republican Party's A&R guy, and he is responsible for bringing up an artist roster that is sure to hit rock bottom as quickly as the bottom dropped out of New Kids on The Block or Menudo.

And here we are....

Today I made a blog. Wow. I just became a fish in another sea of humanity. After a week of personal, racial, political and spiritual challenge, I believe that it is a good idea to have a place to maintain thoughts and ideas. Maybe I will be the only one who ever sees this. I don't care.