Questions I get asked most in life

Being that a blog is an online diary, I want to write an entry that includes questions that I am asked most in life. And, answer them. These questions come from friends, perhaps family, co-workers, people I meet in society, anyone.

In another blog entry, I am going to write questions that I WISH people would ask. I believe that will be alot more interesting.

So here we go. If you ever meet me, you can bypass these questions because you already know the answer:

1) "How are you?" Or a more popular version, "How's it going?" or "What's Up?"
-asked in any setting, with any person, in any conversation. A very casual salutation or version of hello.
Answer: "Excellent," or "Everything". Also there is the "hipster" version: "Everything my man, everything!"

2) "How's your daughter?" -A precursor to other popular questions that are typically asked out of sincere motives by family and friends, but out of a well-intended, but prying for information soap opera mentality by most others.
Answer: "Great." after an awkward pause, I feel the need to fill air, and begin talking about specifics regarding her, thus opening the door to the prying, other questions.

3) "Why did you get divorced?" (note: If this question is asked by a fundamentalist Christian, it is a good bet that the question will be followed with, "Is there a chance you will get back together?")
Answer: For a relationship to work out, compatibility must be present. Did I know this at the time? No. It has taken years and years to suss this out, but the bottom line is, we probably never should have married in the first place. Like so many people throughout history, we really weren't acting with our heads. No one is at fault, no one did some "evil" and unbiblical thing that requires the elders to have a prayer circle. And, we are all in a better place today. Despite what people say about things being absolute, there are alot of areas that are gray. And, I have no doubt in my mind that God is o.k. with my marriage not working out (SCREW YOU DENNIS RAINEY, YOU BACKWARDS BIGOT). Who knows what would or wouldn't have happened? NO ONE. And that includes any pastor, marriage counselor, or the Bible (for those who act as if the Bible is actually a personality that thinks).

Also, sometimes I am asked about what I think of a particular relationship. Depending on the situation, I often tell people that it is better to end an incompatible relationship than to drudge on in life miserable. So many people say that "God hates divorce." "Divorce is wrong." "Buck up buddy, God says 'you're in for the longhaul'". Bullshit! I call Bullshit! Yes, God hates divorce. He hates it because one of the reasons for it is bad decisions that shouldn't have been made in the first place. It happens when people aren't living as attendees of their actual lives, but in some movie that is rolling in their heads. I am a classic example. Ego's are swinging like a pendulum, and we never really stop to realize that we are slicing our actual selves in two with every swoop. It's time to wake up. And, God (whether you believe in the God of the Bible, Buddah, or some other name for the supreme force we all have access to), wants us to wake up and be present.

Marriage IS sacred, and divorce should not be taken lightly. Too many people do take it lightly for the same reasons I outlined above; mainly they are living in an unreal world of delusion.

The goal here is to lessen suffering. How in God's name does one lessen suffering by staying in an unreasonable or incompatible relationship? How in God's name does one lessen suffering by jumping to relationship after relationship in a whirlwind of disorder and dysfunction?

4) "What do you do?", or "Where do you work?" -A common question usually to find out how much money a person makes.
Answer: I manage a sales team for Clear Channel Radio.

5) "Why don't you buy a house?" -Once again, another question usually to find out how much money a person makes.
Answer: It is not a high priority for me. Even if it was a priority, my definition of affordability makes a house these days unreasonable. I am not willing to take on the debt in our cultural climate. I don't want it. "But the market is good, you need to buy a house." Says who?

In a time when I am happier than I have ever been, I don't want the worry, problems and struggles associated with a huge mortgage. Personally, I don't have the money that I would consider reasonable to put down on a house. There are too many examples of people who have touched my life that took out $0, or very little down mortgages to get into a home. Their lifestyles are no better than mine, and their debt load is huge. I have seen people have to continue on in jobs/careers that don't make them happy because of their debts. I am by no means saying this is wrong, but with the dysfunctionality of finances that runs rampant through my family history, I am going to avoid any possible disaster that I can.

I have a home, my daughter is healthy, I love my friends, and I love my career. This is very peaceful and free for me.

6) Where do you go to Church?
answer: Brentwood Nazarene. I am not a member. I have dear friends that go there, and I do not go often. Over the past three years, church has taken a different role in my life than ever before.

7) "Are you dating anyone?" followed by "Why?" Typically this is asked by someone prying to either find out if I am gay, or if asked by a married person, to live vicariously through my circumstance.

Answer: No. I have lived a life and chosen a path that has put me circumstances where I am just not around that many opportunities to meet single women. I am paying in the present for not being present for the majority of the last two decades. Most of my friends who ask these questions don't know anyone that could be a prospective hook-up, and when they do it's usually just a compatibility disaster. I am in a very cloistered environment. To be honest, my experiences of meeting women at church has been horrible. I do not want to meet someone at church. Bars are useless. So, it comes straight out to being ready for opportunities as they arise, be able to recognize them, and have the balls to engage the situations as they come up.

Well, those are some of the top questions I get asked in life. Thus, another small look into my world.

Scott