Nashville's Tropical Storm

For the first time ever, the weather service issued a Tropical Storm Warning for middle-Tennessee (Nashville). Although Katrina was definitely not at the strength it had when it pummelled Louisiana and Mississippi when it arrived in Nashville, people panicked and used it as an excuse to not show up at work.

I am continually amazed at how our inability to predict the future keeps us from experiencing our lives in the present. People buy the hype of whay MIGHT happen the next day, and begin living that out to the point where they aren't even living when reality actually hits them that next day. Guess what, it only rained, and traffic was a bit slow. We have many days worse than this in Tennessee throughout the year.

Memphis has 70,000 people without power, Nashville has 3,000. Meridian, Mississippi got hit at a level such as Mobile, AL. Franklin, TN enjoyed a blustery, late summer storm.

Enjoy the day!

Viruses, Rap and Black Crowes

Computers are definitely funny things. Last year I spent over $300 getting my computer fixed because it had a nasty virus. Several nights ago I punched in a website and it killed my internet hook up. I have been cleaning it with every medicine possible over the past several days, and hopefully all is well.

IT IS TRUE! The People's Champ, Paul Wall is coming to Nashville! He will be playing the same exact night as the Black Crowe's play world famous Ryman Auditorium. So, who am I going to see? Paul Wall. I love the Crowe's, and perhaps I can catch their set and move on over to the club to "grind" with the Ultimate King of the Parking Lot, but I do not want to miss the spectacle of the hottest thing in rap. Seeing Paul Wall at this point in time would be something like seeing Nirvana in a club right before or right after, "Nevermind" hit. Well, maybe not as much that as perhaps seeing Soundgarden. Pearl Jam and Nirvana hit the masses first, but Soundgarden was thriving as well. It just took them a bit longer to hit the masses. That's kind of what Paul Wall is doing in conjunction with MIKE JONES ("I'm Mike Jones! MIKE JONESSSSSS!")

I have alot to say about a wonderful book called, "The Mastery of Love." Written by Miguel Ruiz, the author of "The Four Agreements," I must say that it is one of the most brutal books about who we are as people and how we relate to each other. I will save this for another post, but I highly suggest this reading to all. Especially after writing some of my rants on beliefs and organized religion, this book is a loving slap into the face of how we don't accept people for who they are, and how we allow our fears of reprisal from an early age to taint our ability to accept people, ourselves and the reality of our world.

A weekend in Memphis last Friday-Sunday proved to be good medicine. Sophia(see the photo above of this beautiful little one, who turns 9 in less than a month) and I holed up in the Wyndham in downtown Memphis and just enjoyed some down time. We swam a bit, watched shows on National Geographic about giant snakes and crocodiles, bowled, ate, and played video games Sophia is in third grade now, and loving her new school. She is taller than most kids in her class, smart as a whip, and being challenged by a vibrant new environment.

I wish all of you peace and well being. With a brother going into surgery this week, a father with a broken wrist, and another brother with eye issues, I am reminded how fragile and impermanent our lives here are. Our bodies are not permanent. The only real moment that we have is right now. Tomorrow will take care of itself. It really doesn't even matter, because we have no control over tomorrow or yesterday, they don't exist. I am having to slap my own self in the face with this reality, as I beat myself up for things I have done, that don't exist any more, that I cannot control any more.

August wanes. The throes of heat are dimming as Tennessee cries out for autumn. The maelstorm of weather is a cosmic indication that even the skies would like a little gray at this point.

Houston is the Seattle of Rap!

HOUSTON IS THE SEATTLE OF RAP

What it do, pimp! This is yuh gangsta Whissle Pimp droppin' the candy-apple down the body of my Impala, smokin' yak and packin' gats Cherry Picka! Listen up Homey Slice cuz I'm cuttin' dice and playin the devil in cards! But he ain't got no spades, so I'm layin' low with bankrolls in the pocket of my jeans!

I've always been into a wide variety of music. I am blessed to have been able to be in some form of music entertainment almost my entire career. I am enjoying my third year of 100% involvement with the urban music world as I manage a sales team for a hip-hop and R&B radio station in Nashville, Tennessee. (That's right: The home of country music is simply now better known as CASHVILLE! and I'm not talking about Johnny).

Over the years I have been involved with, put together and managed concert tours. I have taken artists that no one really new and helped manage and develop them to success. I have built marketing plans for successful (and some not so successful) albums and artists. I have spent years understanding radio and working in a progressive manner to try and make a difference in whatever I do. Overall, I've clocked over 20 years of experience with the entertainment world during my career. Some of those years were the darkest times of my life, and some of them brought great memories that I will always carry with me. But no matter what, everything I have done has led me to a better place and provided me with a well-rounded experience that equips me everyday to win.

Until I made a conscious decision several years ago to make a career shift by getting back into radio but on the sales side of things, AND doing this in the urban format, I really never knew how fulfilling a career could be when you are in the right place, right now. I also made the decision to get away from the Christian music world which I had been involved with for so long. I "sold-out" and "went secular." So one would think. I mean come on, I go from Christian music into hip-hop. And I go into the sales side.

It took me one day into my new career environment to realize I made the best decision of my life. And as I sit here today, this world of hip-hop is mesmerizing me every moment. Hip-hop is today's culture's music. I have said often that rap is the "new rock n roll." The analogy breaks down, but hip-hop is simply for today's youth and young adult culture, what rock n roll was to many who grew up in the 50's through the 80's. If you believe rap is a passing fad, you are wrong. It is here for a while, and will be the dominant, popular music in culture for at least the next three decades (Even if we are here by then. But, that's another topic for another blog).

As rap continues to explode and grow, I have noticed a very interesting segment building and now taking off: Houston. Houston, TX is a hot bed for a mix tape movement that has been going on for several years; local artists and dj's making tapes, chopping and screwing them and selling them independently through small labels or frankly, out of the trunks of their cars. Paul Wall, Mike Jones, Michael Watts, Chamillionaire, Slim Thug, Big Pokey, Cooterbang. They all are blowin' up on a national level.

The producers, studios, art graphics companies, all of it has created something very cool that is beginning to get outside of Texas.

The movement coming out of Houston is not that different from the vibe that was felt when Seattle dropped a Tsunami on the world with Nirvana's, "Smells Like Teen Spirit." That song single handedly changed everything in rock. Glam bands like Poison, Warrant, Ratt, Extreme, even Guns N Roses were basically done for after the more earthy, authentic sounds of Pearl Jam and Soundgarden found our ears.

Mike Jones hit the rap world like Nirvana hit rock. Now he's huge. Slim Thug has broken out with a huge album. And, Paul Wall "The People's Champ," and "Ultimate King of the Parking Lot," is poised to drop a CD in a couple of weeks that will hit rap like Pearl Jam's "10" hit MTV with "Evenflow."

Mixtape fans and Houstonians have known these people for some time. Their music and tapes have been on the underground or alternative side of hip-hop. Most of these artists look the look, but it is not glammed out with pimp cups and canes. It is real. There is something about it that is hard to put a finger on, but it is not as violent as the war ladened battle rap coming from the extreme coasts. The Houston thing does have violence, but it is life and business related and the music seems to reflect a more real sense to things. Eventhough the "N" and "B" words are all over the place, the Houston scene seems a little less derogatory in spirit than most of the thugged out gangster rap Memphis, Detroit, and Philly lash out. It is just a very, very cool side of hip-hop that crosses all boundaries.

So, I deem Houston as the "Seattle of Rap." I will write more indepth on this as the days go by, for I am enjoying this music greatly. It is fresh, the beats are incredible, and artists like Paul Wall and Slim Thug are some of the greatest poets and fantasy writers of our age. I picked up a copy of Paul Wall & Chamillionaire's "Controversy Sells" today and I can't stop listening to it. Smokin' Smokin' music.

Nascar Truck Series

Saturday marked the annual Nashville Superspeedway stop for the NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series. It is the last race of the season at our speedway. The races are always a blast. My brother Doug, sister in-law Jane and I have season tickets and it is just a great summer get away to spend a day at the speedway several times throughout the year.

The day started out hotter than hell. And, as the ARCA race ended and the Trucks readied for their race, it looked as though rain would be in the area at any moment. But, we only felt some sporadic drops. The temperature fell, the wind blew and the race happened. It was a great race with a beautiful break from the blast furnace heat.

Cheers to another great season of racing!

Tia: The ultimate guard-dog

Tia is the ultimate guard-dog. Think about it, if a person could engineer a dog to act exactly like Tia, you could sell them and make billions.

To a stranger, Tia is menacing. To the owner, or those who know Tia, the dog would not harm a flea (well, maybe it would).

The dog is alert and knows it's surroundings. When outside, Tia methodically posts the edges of her owner's property and is always on the lookout for something going on. A person will not get to the porch of this house without Tia's permission.

Tia is low maintenance. An occassional bath, a summer haircut (as modeled in the photos above) and a bag of Ol' Roy now and then keeps this animal in great shape.

It is very content to live within four walls during the day, without causing any problems, and if someone comes to the door, her bark is enough to send a person packing.

So today, we recognize Tia, as the Ultimate Guard-dog.

The Summer of Rock

The Summer of Rock continues on.......... the following is the concert going itinerary I have been clocking over a two week period and who I have, or will have the privilege of going to these shows with. And, there is no end in sight!

Sat: Lucero (myself)
Tue: Chicago/Earth, Wind & Fire (Friends Rick & Donna, and Meredith {one of the nicest, intelligent and beautiful ladies I have met.})
Fri: Taproot (My friend Blake. Blake stoked me up to pay attention to this band. They are great. We are catching them at a club show, believing that they are going to blow up. Then, later on we can talk about seeing them when they weren't big. It's kind of like being able to say something like, "I saw The Cult on their Love Tour.")
Sat: Nascar Truck Race (although not a concert, there are alot of commonalities. Plus I am positive there will be some country band playing to the drunken many on this hot August afternoon/evening. My brother Doug and sister in law Jane)
Mon: Green Day (myself. Floor tickets sold out. Can't get into our company suite, I just have to buck up and buy myself a ticket.)
Thur: Scream IV Tour (Friend from work, Tedra. Great urban show with Bow Wow, Omarion, Marques Houston, Bobby Valentino and Pretty Ricky. An arena full of screaming teenage girls from all walks of life.)

Although this is all fun, my ears hurt. And, none of it can compare to the time I am looking forward to spending with my daughter Sophia after this weekend. And still to come after that is OzzFest featuring Black Sabbath, Velvet Revolver and Mudvayne. Also coming up somewhere in the mix is a really cool band called the Redwalls, and I almost forgot Motley Crue.

I am also looking forward to halloween when Nine Inch Nails plays our lovely Nashville town.

So, this is what responsible adults do. We go see all the rock bands that our parents and youth pastors had fits over during high school and college. God Bless America.

Aversion and Fear

AVERSION & FEAR
by Scott Michael Winchell

I think you think what I think you think about me

And I’ve finally outlived the usefulness

Of this endless passion play

Your scathing inability
To show any sort of equanimity

Breaks me from the leash
Cutting, bleeding into my neck

Stretching everything,
Everything I have been taught

This degree is bent,
Outdone by the clarity of now

This is what happens at 40

This is what happens when you turn 40. Anger sets in. Just kidding. My friend Kevin turned 40 yesterday. He is one of my longest running friends and one of the most loyal, true people I have ever known.

I met Kevin during the early years of college at Trevecca Nazarene, and somehow through all the craziness of life, we have all come out on a good side of things. That's Kevin's wife, Maggie in the background. She is truly a golden example that great women do exist in this world.

After we were done eating at South Street last night I ran into a table of women, two whom I know. I immediately sat down (there was a truly striking lady sitting at this table that grabbed my attention) and I enjoyed the company. When everyone was leaving, I was walking down the sidewalk with this lady, Sabian, and asked her out. She has a boyfriend. I actually then told her to keep me in mind when they break up.

It was a good night.

Lucero, women and 40.......

Sunday within the middle-Tennessee hills has brought a much welcome break from the heat as our temperatures dip into the lower 80's, providing a wonderful stage for the Cicadas' nightly mid-summer concert.

For quite a while now, my family and friends in Memphis have had the special feeling of a hometown band that began and broke out of that home town. I have been hearing about Lucero, and every time they play in my area, I have not been able to see them. Until last night. Lucero played the opening slot for the Shack-Shakers and Rev. Horton Heat at the Cannery in Nashville. The band is an incredible stew of delta angst and southern rock aggression. I won't compare them to someone, or try to tell anyone that they are like "the Allman Bros. meeting Widespread Panic." But I was quickly drawn back in my mind to the very peaceful and happy place in my soul that was created by seeing a very cool, new band in my college years. There were 21-23 year olds packed into the venue where I saw college favorites during my time like Will & The Bushmen, Government Cheese and Chagall Guevera, singing the songs of Lucero. These kids own a piece of Lucero in their hearts that they will carry throughout their lives.

Earlier in the week I managed to make plans to see Lucero, no matter what. And, no matter what happened. I ended up going to the show by myself (another soul-digging reminder of my cloistered life over the past 20 years and the price I am paying for it socially. And just simply that the people my age that I know and love, have other things they want to do and people they would rather spend time with.) Nonetheless, I don't mind being in public alone, and I enjoyed the show.

What didn't set well with me again, is the fact that although I am surrounded by beautiful people from all walks of life, I am a million miles away from these people. All the technology in the world that has seemed to make communities smaller and more in touch, has actually in some ways made things more cloistered and apart. I can talk all I want about "sackin' up," or "steppin' up" and just start talkin' to women who look good, but it just doesn't work like that. There is no meeting a girl at a rock concert. There is only a continual, improvised film that plays in my head when I see a girl at such an event. The film who's story line goes something like this:

"She's hot. Although I have no idea who she is or what her situation is, that tattoo on her shoulder spikes me up like a punk at a Ramones show. I need to go out with her, sleep with her and have a relationship with her and live happily ever after."

Well, at least the story goes something like that. Just another example of how I delude myself into a storyline life instead of just being present and experiencing the joy and contentment of where I am at. And, put alochol in the mix and it just gets worse.

People go out into public with friends. And although I have no scientific data, I will make a gambling guess and say that I believe that the majority of social groups we see socially active in Nashville, TN aren't necessarily putting "getting laid" or "Hooking up" or "going home with someone" as the reason they are out.

People are getting together by people within their social circles helping to bring them together with others. If a person is not in a social circle conducive to that, a single person in this world is going to be stuck and a little disenfranchised. In other words, people are hooking up from their friends hooking them up. And if a person doesn't have friends who know people, that person is pretty much out of luck.

The older one gets, the more challenging this becomes. One of my best friends turns 40 tomorrow. Kevin is the first of several of us that are about to hit this mark over the next several months. I hit it in November. It is a simple fact that there are fewer single, socially active, entertainment and athletically oriented people out there who may be looking for a relationship. And, living smack in the middle of the Bible belt doesn't help. Church simply doesn't have any hope of providing the miracle cure for the social contraction it has helped create. The church has, with good intentions, created social classes over the past two decades that are counterproductive for building long term relationships with certain demographics. Yes, there are great "Youth Programs," and "College & Career Classes." There are even, "Young Professional" classes and "Adult Ministries". But if you are in your early to mid-30's and single, it is called, "DIVORCE RECOVERY." Boy, sign me up for that! I'd rather go to AA (of which, is looking pretty attractive at this point.)

For a person like me to want to involve themselves with the activities of church, it is a no mans land of awkard participation with a married couples who really don't want the bothersome load in their Sunday School class of a disenfranchised 30 something who could really give a rat's ass about prayer circles and couples retreats.

So, what do I do. Typically, I continue to delude myself with non-reality. But in moments of clarity I do occasionally have, I live my life as it is, and as it is progressing. I go to the store, I go to work, I love my child, I go to the rock concerts alone, and I embrace my friends and hope to God I never lose them.

I can't help but to think that one of my major problems with meeting people is one of the most obvious things in the world: Those "people" don't have a clue who I am, and I don't have a clue who they are." This therefore suggests that I need to put myself in places and situations to meet these "people." And therein lies the rub. What are those and where are those situations? Has it all just passed me by? Am I just a damn idiot that deserves to be alone and squared off from most of the active society? Is my life just so screwed up that it is obvious to everyone, and I am lucky just to be breathing? Have I had my run, and I just need to accept that it's over for me.

I have been told, "You gave up" "It's your own fault," because for instance, I don't go to Church and sign up for all the classes and organizations. I've been told, "I don't get out enough." As I grow up now, I realize that the boy who loved to be friends of all during my school years and beyond, the person who loved to be involved with people all the time and always had people around him, is becoming increasingly an inhabitant of a world where there is not much hope of meeting new people. This is a dark and miserable place in a heart that is peaceful and secure, and feeds and grows off of being around people.

I don't want to hang in the bars. I don't want materialism. I don't care how much money you make. It makes no difference to me if you sweep floors for the school district or sell nuclear material to space aliens. I don't need to get laid bad enough to the point where I'm willing to compromise integrity just to sleep with anyone that can crawl into my car after 8 beers. I'm not lonely enough just to dive into a relationship with any one close to my age that just "might happen to be single and looking."

I really don't want to be around people who are more concerned about the agenda of their beliefs than actually pursuing God in every day life.

But, maybe those things are actually all that there is out there, and perhaps it is MY FAULT.

Perhaps there are no kindred spirits. Perhaps there is no such thing as compatibility. Perhaps there is no one that would really like hanging out with a person like me. Someone who likes pursuing spiritual matters, a person who wants an advocate in their world that will be behind their dreams no matter the case. Perhaps I have blown my opportunities and should just buck up and realize that I'm done in that area of this life. Although this seems a little hard, it actually may be real and truthful.

So the ultimate question is: "You miserable depressing shit, WHAT DO YOU WANT?" You know, my life is better than most. And I really ultimately can't complain about anything, although I do. Throughout it all, I would really like to have someone in my life who I could share this crazy trip. Someone who I can adore and be an advocate for, and someone who actually likes being around me. Someone who actually enjoys life and wants to take care of themselves and pursue dreams.

I am ready for the fall. I am ready for the gray skies and soul-cooling winds of October. I'm ready for the concert tours to announce their fall legs and for the fall sports seasons to kick in. I'm tired, and I am exhausted from looking for love on aisle # 9 or next to the beer tap at the bar. I'm tired of looking for a relationship with a person that doesn't exist that my mind has concocted from a visual sighting of a girl 20 rows away at the rock concert, or the checkout girl who sold me a shirt at Express.

I'm tired of judging women at first sight by the wreckless filth that occupies my mind.

If you have ever had the pleasure of a good relationship, even for a brief moment in time, you know what a powerful force it is. And somedays, I wish that I could erase those good relationships from my past, because they haunt me with their ghosts in today's reality.

I wish everyone health and peace this week. Enjoy and embrace your friends and families.

These Times They are a Changin'

Disclaimer: I don't necessarily think I have all the answers. But, the times are a changin', and I actually think about war and the world condition. For my daughter's sake, for my career sake, for the health of my soul and the betterment of civilization, I think about these things. To move toward a place of lessening suffering, to lessen belief and increase the reality that there is a God who cares for us: I THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS.

"We should be challenging not only their terrorist tactics, but their ideology, which leads them to kill in the name of religion." -Donald Rumsfeld on the renaming of the 'war on terror' to the 'war on extremism."

One of my buddies at work pulled me to his computer screen yesterday to show me the press release of the war on terror's new name. My first, instant thought was, "Great, bring it home to our own turf and give those who don't think like us even more reason to hate us." Thank You President Bush.

The leader who told us we would fight the war on "their turf" to avoid bringing it here, has in one fell swoop given the so-called enemy even more reason to try to hit us at home.

Maybe it's just me, but I find Mr. Rumsfeld's words ironic. "....but their ideology, which leads them to kill in the name of religion." Sounds alot like our administration; an ideology that pushes a cause to kill in the name of religion. Hmmmm

IF YOU TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY, PLEASE QUIT READING HERE.

I will not lease out the God given nature I have been created with, the ability to pursue a greater call, to someone else, because it is expedient or because they have a position or pulpit. I will not lease out my responsibility to pursue life just because it does not fit in with the "country club" atmosphere of America's ecumenical society. I will not lease out my soul for a career.

I will not lease out my life because someone else told me that I should not question our condition.

Life is not a pre-packaged political game. A "WAR OF EXTREMISM"??? Great. Well, some of the most extreme bastards on our planet are sitting in our country, willing to sacrifice our friends, cousins, sons and daughters for a worthless, causeless war, under the guise of "keeping us safe." God damn them all to hell for killing in the name of God and being so proud as to think there will be no retribution. Damn them for whoring out God's name and patriotism to further their personal causes of disillusionment. Damn them all. They need to go......What do we need to do to get back at the terrorists for 9/11? A two to one return paid with the blood of our own soldiers?

I am amazed at how the Christian community still embraces Bush and the Republican party. Anti-life, fiscally irresponsible, lying, unethical, thiefs. I would like for one person, anywhere to justify any of this business in Iraq from a Christian perspective. And, don't give me the mamble bamble bullshit about terrorism and WMD. And don't give me some ridiculous cryptic message of how the Bible justifies this. IT DOESN'T.

This administration has pimped out American freedom for personal gain, and deserves to be put in prison for the rest of their lives. Yet, God Bless Bush, gotta support the Prez. Support our troops. YES, support our troops! BRING THEM HOME and FIRE THEIR COMMANDER IN CHIEF.

It is ridiculous. Money means nothing any more. Our only strength as a country against evil is fire-power and bulliness. The world hates us and rightfully so. Bush has made a mockery of America and should be sent away for good. We couldn't buy our way out of a wet paper sack. Sure we give money to Africa and causes and such, but we are hamstrung, and Bush is responsible. He is not acting in God's name. Nor is Delay, nor is Rumsfeld, nor is Powell, Cheney, Rice, Rove, Frist or any of them. I've never seen a cleaner depiction of anti-christ activity in my life than what is going on in this Country's administration.

I apologize for nothing. This is ridiculous. And for you who go to Church every Sunday under some patriotic banner of Bushism, God Bless You, BUT WAKE UP!

This is deep, and it's getting worse every day. Something has got to give. And a nice start would be seeing this entire administration fired.

Enjoy an incredible day of Freedom while we have it.